A letter to my future child:
If you are reading this letter, that means you are ours. 100 percent totally and completely our child. I am not sure how you got here, but you are ours. Perhaps you were the result of IVF #2 or #3. Or maybe you are the product of an egg donor cycle. We may have even handpicked you from an adoption agency. At this point in my life I don’t know. All I know for sure is that I have wanted you for my whole life, not just today, or yesterday, or beginning August 10, 2014. But for a long, long time.
I have wanted you since I had my first baby doll as a child, since I saw my mother taking care of me and my siblings. Since the day I first played house with friends or read a book about a big happy family. You have always been in the back of my mind.
Though your name changed often, you always made me so very happy. I remember once your name was Emily, and there was a time it was Caleb. You were even twins named Katrina and Sabrina! Today, I am not sure what your name is, what color your eyes are or if you look like me or not. But I am certain of this: I love you.
I am writing this letter to you to ensure that you never doubt that love. There will be times when we disagree, when you are punished, and when you feel like we don’t care about you at all. That is not true. Not even a little bit. We love you more than life itself, and we want for you to always be happy and safe. We waited what felt like a lifetime for you, and we never want to experience those days without you again. You are our everything, you have made us complete.
There will also be times in your life when you face adversity, and when you have questions. We hope you will embrace those differences, because those are some of the very reasons why you are so special. Your mommy and daddy went through a lot to get you here, and you weren’t brought to us in the most conventional of ways. But because of that, you are all the more important to us. We prayed for you. We fought for you. And here you are. You are our miracle.
We cannot wait to see what the future has in store for you. We are confident you will do great things, large or small. We hope that you follow your heart, do what you love and never give up. We wish you a love like your father and I have for one another, and a lifetime of happiness. But most of all, we want you to have hope. When the future looks dark, and you feel like there is no end in sight, have hope. When you make mistakes, get hurt or feel lost, have hope. When your heart breaks and you feel like giving up, have hope. After all, it is HOPE that brought us to you.